


There was no letter.

by Aspieonage



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Religion, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-28 03:48:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16716008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspieonage/pseuds/Aspieonage
Summary: How do you live with yourself if what you believe deems it wrong?





	1. A Voice, A Fall, A Death

It wasn't Josh. It was never Josh. Josh was perfect. But it hadn't been Tyler either who screwed up their relationship. It was Blurry. 

Ever since Tyler and Josh had started dating, had shared their first kiss, their first night together, he had been nagging. Constantly reminding him how this was all wrong. How dirty he wasn't and how he would go to he'll. 

Josh would hold him through it but Josh wasn't there. Tyler was alone. Had left. Gone for a walk. Escaping his reality to try to find beauty in the world, a distraction that had worked a couple of times before. He had returned with determination and inspiration. But not today.

Today was dark. A grey fog clouded his mind. Joseph tried to keep his mind occupied. He looked for flowers, dogs, birds.  
Thought about Josh. How he had let him down.  
The fog stayed present.  
It didn't waver.

There were whispers coming from Blurry. «Your family hates you.» and «You deserve to be alone.»  
Things that usually didn't hurt, but that were stinging today.

Walking past a cemetery, a shiver ran down his spine. But his legs carried him further, led by the intrusive thoughts. He had fucked up. He was past the point of no return. This was supposed to happen.

His nose caught a wiff of the nearby water. There were no cars on the bridge. Nobody to distract him. Perfect timing. 

His arms lifted at his sides. He thought about Josh their fight. How he had left. Words unspoken. Unsolved. There was no letter. This was now.

For a second he felt like an angel. Dirt, sind and sorrows washed away as he soared through the air, nearing the ground. He was free. In his mind this was his escape. Blurry would die with him.

A crash.  
Silence.  
There was no letter.


	2. He's A Goner.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh can fix this, or, how he was wrong.

There was no letter. But Josh knew anyway.   
He stood silent in the trees. Watching cowardly.   
His angel flew.   
A hit.  
A crash.   
Sirens, silence.

In a rush. Limp body in front of him, there’s paramedics.   
Not allowed to touch him.  
His vision turns blurry.  
Tears mixing with blood.

Arrival. Sterile rooms. Shouting nurses.

Tyler. Tyler. Tyler.

They’re separated, Josh’s restless.  
Pacing up and down the hallway.  
He’s never been this scared.

Tyler. Tyler.

Josh decides to write him a letter.   
Explaining, apologizing, asking.  
His hands shaking, sweat pouring. 

Tyler.

A scream. Their door is opened.  
He dares to look.  
Lifeless eyes, limply laying.  
Heart beating. 

Josh breathes the first time since the fall.  
Tyler’s heart is beating.   
He writes the letter.  
To Tyler. To Blurry.   
To a fallen angel.

When he wakes, Tyler is gone.   
So is his letter.  
Josh’s heart sinks, his smile fades.

This time there is a letter.   
A goodbye.  
A farewell. 

Josh’s heart turns to stone.   
Memories flood him.   
Tyler.. Tyler.. Tyler..

Josh can feel his breath , his skin, his lips.  
Josh can feel his death.

He wants to see him. He wants to say:  
Hello,  
Hello,  
Hello,

But all he can say, all he can think is:  
Tyler,  
Tyler,  
Tyler.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> This is my first tøp fic so I'm sorry~  
> I depicted Blurry as the voice inside of Tyler's head, the internalized homophobia through his religious upbringing. 
> 
> Also, I love comments!


End file.
